A butterfly life

(}!{) You have to live the Butterfly life~One who fights to survive and after a painful transition will become more beautiful and vibrant than ever.~~I really love hand me downs even when it is someone's words from their heart. This quote came from Miranda who got it from Amanda who found it and tweaked it abit---to fit her. Im still working to finish my metamorphasis...but man you outta see these two butterflies!!!



I can hardly wait somedays to see what things my friends will post on their facebook walls...I am often inspired or moved to tears, occasionaly angered and sometimes just confused. But the day my friend Miranda posted this I resonated with the quote and felt like it had been posted just for me.

I am living a butterfly life. I have struggled to understand sometimes why it had to be so difficult of a transition, but then I remember how strong it has made me and I find a way not only to be grateful but proud as well.

I have fought to survive, and to thrive. I have tried with all I have to find a forgiveness not only for those I used to blame but mostly for myself. I understand that I ended up at a dead end because of my choices, and the ability to keep forgiving. And while it is an explanation of why things went where they did, it is also a source of strength. If I can survive the heartache, the stretching and pulling of my heart, my self worth, my everything to move towards the new me...I am pretty sure I can handle anything.

Today was a horribly difficult day at work. We experienced a loss and with our folks its just never very easy. But the amazing people I work with pulled up their bootstraps and we walked through the first steps of dealing with grief.

I know that alot of my strength and courage has been gleened from those I spend my work life with. To watch them in grace and peace today was beautiful at a most horrible time. It is the same no matter what life challenge presents they are the cream that rises to the top.

We don't really get to choose what challenges this life holds for us, but we create better or worse by the way we deal with it. I love that I no longer feel like a victim, fear what's next or hide from the inevitable. I have been pushed, stretched and squished by the last few years...but in the end I am ready for what the changes are doing to my heart, my smile, to my future.

I am ready to be the butterfly in my life. I have so many friends who are supporting the changes, cheering the improvements and reminding me I still have a long way to go. I am clinging to the hope that this too proves to be one of those things that is all to the good.

Watching the others who have gone before me and seeing how their beauty shines in their eyes, and radiates from their hearts is inspiring. I am ready to fly right along side each of my fellow flutterers, as we grow into our butterfly lives!

reposted from earlier blog!erapy session.

Here we go again~

Ok---it's true, I got a little side tracked and while I made personal prograss in 2011---it was not exactly what I had intended for the year. I had set goals to lose weight and make other improvements. Needless to say...it didnt get done.

So with 2012 kicking off, some amazing things have been coming together over the last few days...and even seems that they have been building for a few weeks...months...or maybe 2011 was just the year I needed to get some other things accomplished so I could make me the priority. I have gone so far down the path of non-self care, that I fear I may never get to a healthy weight, but I cannot let that keep me from trying.

I have come through so many struggles since 2005, to put it mildly some really tough ass-kickings were dished out and given away. But all that behind me, its now time to do something with that junk that is behind ME!!

So with my friends support, a mentor, and other opportunities that have presented themselves, I am going to make this "Biggest year ever" the year I get smaller.

So you are all on my accountablity list. I will post here---and if you don't hear from me at least once a week...please by all means get ahold of me by any means necessary and remind me of my committment to myself and you.

Thanks in advance and feel free to post here your goal for 2012---we are temporarily disallowing the use of the word resolution...for obvious it don't work reasons.

Serendipity awaits!