A butterfly life

(}!{) You have to live the Butterfly life~One who fights to survive and after a painful transition will become more beautiful and vibrant than ever.~~I really love hand me downs even when it is someone's words from their heart. This quote came from Miranda who got it from Amanda who found it and tweaked it abit---to fit her. Im still working to finish my metamorphasis...but man you outta see these two butterflies!!!



I can hardly wait somedays to see what things my friends will post on their facebook walls...I am often inspired or moved to tears, occasionaly angered and sometimes just confused. But the day my friend Miranda posted this I resonated with the quote and felt like it had been posted just for me.

I am living a butterfly life. I have struggled to understand sometimes why it had to be so difficult of a transition, but then I remember how strong it has made me and I find a way not only to be grateful but proud as well.

I have fought to survive, and to thrive. I have tried with all I have to find a forgiveness not only for those I used to blame but mostly for myself. I understand that I ended up at a dead end because of my choices, and the ability to keep forgiving. And while it is an explanation of why things went where they did, it is also a source of strength. If I can survive the heartache, the stretching and pulling of my heart, my self worth, my everything to move towards the new me...I am pretty sure I can handle anything.

Today was a horribly difficult day at work. We experienced a loss and with our folks its just never very easy. But the amazing people I work with pulled up their bootstraps and we walked through the first steps of dealing with grief.

I know that alot of my strength and courage has been gleened from those I spend my work life with. To watch them in grace and peace today was beautiful at a most horrible time. It is the same no matter what life challenge presents they are the cream that rises to the top.

We don't really get to choose what challenges this life holds for us, but we create better or worse by the way we deal with it. I love that I no longer feel like a victim, fear what's next or hide from the inevitable. I have been pushed, stretched and squished by the last few years...but in the end I am ready for what the changes are doing to my heart, my smile, to my future.

I am ready to be the butterfly in my life. I have so many friends who are supporting the changes, cheering the improvements and reminding me I still have a long way to go. I am clinging to the hope that this too proves to be one of those things that is all to the good.

Watching the others who have gone before me and seeing how their beauty shines in their eyes, and radiates from their hearts is inspiring. I am ready to fly right along side each of my fellow flutterers, as we grow into our butterfly lives!

reposted from earlier blog!erapy session.

Here we go again~

Ok---it's true, I got a little side tracked and while I made personal prograss in 2011---it was not exactly what I had intended for the year. I had set goals to lose weight and make other improvements. Needless to say...it didnt get done.

So with 2012 kicking off, some amazing things have been coming together over the last few days...and even seems that they have been building for a few weeks...months...or maybe 2011 was just the year I needed to get some other things accomplished so I could make me the priority. I have gone so far down the path of non-self care, that I fear I may never get to a healthy weight, but I cannot let that keep me from trying.

I have come through so many struggles since 2005, to put it mildly some really tough ass-kickings were dished out and given away. But all that behind me, its now time to do something with that junk that is behind ME!!

So with my friends support, a mentor, and other opportunities that have presented themselves, I am going to make this "Biggest year ever" the year I get smaller.

So you are all on my accountablity list. I will post here---and if you don't hear from me at least once a week...please by all means get ahold of me by any means necessary and remind me of my committment to myself and you.

Thanks in advance and feel free to post here your goal for 2012---we are temporarily disallowing the use of the word resolution...for obvious it don't work reasons.

Serendipity awaits!

Finally getting down to biznezzzz

So as we get started on a new life many things have to change, one of the hardest to make happen for me has been the obvious needed physical changes...now its time and I am finally moving forward or downward on the scale whichever direction you prefer....

I want to use this blog to relate how the other emotional growth is now leading to the shrinking of the physical. I have often heard how we are all connected, but understanding that tconnecting the dots between the heart, the head and the pain of the past would somehow lead to the changes that are inevitable was always a little lost on me.

I am excited in a whole new way...and if you check back you can take this little trip with me.


thanks for reading...and friend or fan me now to hear the rest of the story!

4 Days and Counting

I am so very ready for a vacation. Still trying to work out all the details. Gonna be good either way...no work!!!

Have a great week!!!

countdown to vacation~~~~~

its 21 days to my much needed and waited for vacation...17 days of doing whatever, whenever, whyever......WHOOO HOOOOO!!

check out my yahoo blog...my favorite place to share...also learned how to embed a cool video from you tube...your gonna love it..bet you cant watch it just once!!!

http://360.yahoo.com/mom2the5k

Wow...its been a while since i posted here

I actually kind of forgot to add anything on this blog...so Im gonna try to start adding at least once a week...seem to be liking the yahoo 360 better...its so damn convienent...hooked right to my messenger...anyways check it out...


http://360.yahoo.com/mom2the5k

cya!!

better and better

Life just gets better and better...who knew there was life after divorce...well I sure did'nt. I thought he was going to be the man in my life forever...but I guess now he will be the ex-man in my ex-friends life until he decides he don't want her any more either.

But as far as my life goes...I have started dating and am beginning to feel like a woman again. Not just some assholes wife. I never knew that normal people will talk to you and tell you the truth...who knew.

Gotta go...getting buzzed by another guy...life just gets better and better.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Well its just a few more days until the big 43...and I have not been this excited about a birthday in such a long time. I can't wait until my party!!!

See you at the Piano Bar!!!